Blackout barefoot maybe pregnant
Good decisions....
Just got blue box Mac and cheese things are looking up
you tried to clear everyones facebook status so that yours would be the only one on everyones home page
glow-in-the-dark stars on his ceiling from '98 totally make blowing him more romantic.
I just wanted to say sorry for trying to jack off your dog last night.
how many times in life can you be kicked out of a pizza buffet for vomiting on the food and insulting small children
He shit in the bushes next to the pool at the Venetian, after throwing up in the hallway. You really can do anything in Vegas.
I miss the days when all my weekends consisted of were 69 and crunchwraps
and you think what you did last night was bad? at least you didnt go wake up a sleeping guy for birthday sex.
she's sniffed three people's necks on the bus to see who the good smell was coming from...
she's gonna get diseases
I would like to apologize once again for rubbing your thigh with my hands and face for a very long time last night.
Miscalculate d the jungle juice, it's actually 10%. Can't taste the diff anyway but my stomcha is warm. Come play pongm.
Stop sending me pictures of you naked. This violates the friend zone agreement.
No ive been in the mountains getting high and baking cookies with a 4 year old
We walked around last night for hours saying nothing but nom nom nom and barking at each other.
That portable toilet under the bed? Turns out it was a tuba. Explains alot.
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