i havee beer in my backseat and a glow in the dark condom in my cleaveage.
you're going for the gold here.
i cant decide if i should go fuck j*** or keep watching real genius
I didn't think it was possible but there may actually be TOO MANY pictures of me tagged shotgunning.
Bruises. Everywhere. Table sex is dangerous
I may still return these pants. Depends how much they smell like alcohol by tmrw morning. I've already spilled once.
A guy with no shirt on and a eyepatch just got out of the car beside me. After he slammed his door into mine. This is our hometown.
I should not be in class today. For the professors sake.
If I should ask "why am I still single?" could someone please remind me of shooting mike and ikes out of my nose at the bartender last Saturday. many thanks
Use "feeling words"
Yay
You put on a bike helmet, yelled "doesn't matter fuck it" then punched a stick the fire
i swear i was one second from getting his number and then the shrooms kicked in
And with one simple text you can separate the men from the boys...."it's that time of the month."
I cannot belive our party caught on fire
I need my comforter. Pls bring it to me and drape me in it like an animal pelt. Ps I'm naked.
Shame - the story of my life.
Randomize
