"Ever since I killed her kid she be actin' shady." Actual quote overheard at Marine World just now. Oh God.
We should be called the Road Head Warriors
I found my laptop, credit card, and a bottle of Morgan all on the counter this morning. I'm scared to see what gets delivered to my house this week.
I just watched 2 blind guys walk into each other head on in providence. It pays to pregame in your car.
He made me a period mix..should I back out now?
Just break the ice by asking who had to take plan b this past semester
Law school has no idea what kind of prospect they have coming in. I just convinced a cop not to take me to jail by asking him if he really felt like cleaning puke out of his car tonight.
my make-up looks really good tonight. I swear it had nothing to do with me finishing all of your strawberry vodka.
I gave a very stressed out cashier a mini bottle from my purse the day after Christmas. It's what Jesus would have done.
You're a good person. Sharing is caring.
Just got a motivational speech from the tacobell drive thru guy at 2am
I have an aggressive hickey on my shoulder and it actually hurts.
I like the new guy, he keeps beer in the fridge.
I may or may not be drinking in a church parking lot.
I consider walking to the bars and dancing my exercise and I buy doubles so my drinks r heavier so that's my arm workout
hurry up. it's a friday night and i'm drinking in my office by myself. wearing a stewie griffin costume. the cleaning lady is judging me.
Randomize