At Bonnaroo. Just saw a couple emerge from a port-a-potty. Romantic?
and while your girlfriend wears your relationship pants, i'll be wearing my ecstasy pants
we were so high last night we were cutting bread with my iphone
Bring your kids so they can distract our kids so we can drink beer in peace.
i'm pretty sure i lost all sex appeal when he caught me peeing in his bushes
I'm starting to think The only feelings I have anymore are drunk and hung over
you can't hurt those
He's only a little bit crosseyed.
I think this is one situation where "a little bit" doesn't mean much.
I think I might stay on campus instead of going home for thanksgiving and see how many townies I can hook up with and no one will be around to judge
He looks like the kind of guy that would jack off to weird things.
She stole my hamster. idk who she was, she just walked in and said she knew Keith so she stayed, drank 6 beers, and then stole Charles.
Code red. She won't talk to me. Maybe it has something to do with her raccoon eyes. Perry said there was a brief moment of towel fighting until you passed out. Did you draw the turtle on my ass?
Good idea. You gotta take care of your vagina. She takes care of you. Pay it forward.
I was going to say that I wasn't sure how that happened... but then I remembered that I bonded with the Australians over vitamins and INXS and they bought me tequila.
Why can't they just let me be the gorgeous cum dumpster that I know I'm meant to be?
Sooooo drunk. We had the best sex ever and after he looked at me and said "That's whats up". I looked at him weird and he said "Young Jeezy would say it" and passed out on me naked. I think i might be in love
Randomize
