is it cool if i come over and use your computer?
what happened to yours?
i got a little to drunk last night and threw up on it...then i tried to wash it off under the sink.
you don't know how close you are to someone till they ask you to shave their ass.
Bring mistletoe to the strip club, and they feel obligated. they dont even charge you
Throw up on the ground, people dancing to loud Bollywood music, seats literally missing. Fuck I hate public transit
I don't want to have to force feed him my vagina!!
You working tonight?
Keg. Hottub. Wearimnh a 8th graders bikini. Mess
Ok. I am hammered I will admit it but my legacy needs to live and your the only woman that could spawn satan. We need to talk.
be proud. or at least amused. an 18 yr old and a 25 yr old at least makes my average hookup age this week the same as my age.
Male strippers are involved. You are coming
I just used my AAA membership to fix a strippers flat tire in return for a lapdance...does that make me a bad person?
No padding. I spent my whole summer with my nips out. October don't need that too.
So I just bought e from my sophomore home ec teacher. How's your weekend going?
Heeyy... sorry I got so drunk. You probably don't ever want to see me again. Thank you for dealing with me when I tried to jump over the deli counter for some mayonnaise.
This is either going to be a hilarious catfish or the fuck trophy of the century.
sad thing: we were only a shot away from an orgy. good thing: we all got laid.
Randomize
