It wouldn't matter if you are Jesus Christ himself, you are not getting into the bar tonight
Dude you have to stop using "I eat good pussy" as a pick up line
Thats the last thing I remember and then I woke up in this Dutch kids dorm and he was taking a picture of me while I was sleeping
I Think it is all interconnected. Emma caused most of the nakedness
she was rubbing her elbow against the fish tank and laughing hysterically then she said I'M THEIR FISHY GOD and watched harry potter
Because at some point last night we decided that shotgunning beers from a paint stick was a good idea
She has the perfect pussy. Looks like a paper cut with a puff of cotton candy on top.
Yup. Dog walker, house sitter and mistress to the rich, bored and bi-curious. I've got a nice little operation running.
the last thing i heard from her was "i wanna get fucked by a stranger" and i haven't seen her since
The only thing I remember is the 300 pound man breaking ur railing from sliding down it at 3 am. Must of been a good night.
Oh. My. God. I. Am. Going. To. Punch. Someone. In. The. Face. Immediately.
You talk the same way I hallucinate.
Oh and sorry for almost killing all of us last night... twice...
she glued two packs of googly eyes on you while you were blacked out. We talked her out of using her hot glue gun.
ummmm thanks
Get your dick back in here. On Saturdays, you're not allowed to leave my bed unless it's to make me bacon or coffee.
Randomize
