I need help removing her.
Ummmm I went to see who was upstairs, he was the only one in his room so we had sex while the travel channel played in the background.
Oh good. Romantic. Still, I'm jealous of the sex.
Probably not, since he made me promise not to tell anyone it only lasted ten seconds.
So the old dude that tried to fight me is definitely Katie's dad. And the pot cookie's kicking in. Shit is getting weird.
You made me pull over because you thought a leaf was a twenty rolling across the road.
I set up her keyboard so that no matter what she does, it will open up RedTube. Click and command Q all you like, its going to porn. No I play the waiting game
I thought this guy walking back to the dorms with his black laundry bag was walking a black flamingo I'm not even kidding I had to take a break on a bench after that.
You're my favorite person
His cat kept scratching my feet while we were having sex. There's only room for one pussy around here. It also concerns me that he owns a cat.
Dude. My tinder just blew up in Seattle. I'm moving here. I don't give a fuck
I actually had to apologize for "being too aggressive about harry potter"
I'm sorry for getting drunk and throwing a robo-bird at you.
Sleeping with him wouldn't be considered hoeing out... It seems more like babysitting.
He took some pill and now he's on all fours demanding we give him chips from the dog bowl. Come get him.
Lets get drunk. But not too drunk that I can't work in the morning. But maybe drunk enough so we'll make out
I cut him off because he was changing my thermostat every time he came over
You made the right decision
You mentioned his name and i threw up a little.
Randomize
