is it really this hard to find a guy i can fuck and have a good time with who doesn't ask where things are going btwn us?
you sound like my dream girl
I just sold a pizza for the ability to listen to spice girls.
I just got off a plane from Mexico. At least 15 passengers dashed to the bathroom throughout the flight. Can you tell its spring break?
We literaly had to peel your fingers off the jose cuervo bottle and lock it in someones room
no more duck duck goose at the bar
Had no idea what his name was when I woke up. Went through his desk, found his tax records. Ben. And loaded.
Has my life seriously led me to day drinking on a Monday the third week of the semester?
It's after 5, it's not day drinking.
HI MARY. THERE IS A RAINBOW AT OUR APARTMENT
Shirtless guy staggering down the sidewalk, puking into a Prada shopping bag. Ahhh, the walk of shame in Boystown.
you guys just sat there and simultaneously smoked bowls staring at each other... it was like a bowl off or something.
Girl behind me in line at cvs was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan b soon she might be a mom abd that if we couldn't tell she'd be a terrible mom
I think I broke my hip playing drunk ping pong
look when god gives you a dick that good for his son's birthday you don't question it
Oh the best part of having sex with him was that he made me a smoothie after
P.s. There are few things I love more than brand new mascara and you are one of them.
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