New word for getting laid so we don't sound like whores in public when we are talking about it : stamp the passport
My mom just told me that after i turned eight i stopped growing mentally and emotionally
its like he missed a chap in the "being a guy" handbook and read the bible instead
he said I was the best sex he's ever had, handed me a burger king crown and told me to take my walk of shame with pride
i have only one word for you: 3somewithnorwegiangirls
I'm glad we're going to catch up. too bad it's over my vagina.
The paramedics came back to shotgun beers with us.
When we were done he got down next to the bed and I thought he was Tebowing. He was hitting a bong that he had already loaded and hidden under the bed.
Holy shit, I just successfully took and sent a boob pic AT MY DESK I have conquered an entire new level of skill.
best eviction party ever.
it wasn't an eviction party you asshole, you just happened to get yourself evicted during the party.
I deserve to have sex with a hot freshman ok
PS- My flight is being emergency landed bc someone smuggled cats on the plane.
Just went grocery shopping with a vibrator in my purse and didn't even realize it. This is what Saturdays are made for.
I would've fucked Winston Churchill - rode that D like I was going into battle.
Do you remember coming over and asking for toast and then singing that yeah toast song very loudly while you were dropping my bread all over my kitchen?
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