I hate when my naked walk-arounds are interrupted by someone knocking on the door
her teeth looked like a whores toenails, i was too horrified to
i woke up to find out i shared my bed with a full, open can of natty light last night and didnt spill it. then i drank it for breakfast.
Dude just fell down the stars trying to leave class early, the prof just looks down at him and says"thats what you get"
well since you're still married, you will be paying for my abortion right?
It's like he's trying to get head in every car except his.
he asked if i wanted their team name to be " Amandas angels" or " Fuk budies" either way an intermural softball team of all my hook ups from spring semester is just depressing. convenient but depressing
I really want to lead this Amish guy into temptation
the upside of dating someone over 21: he can buy me a pregnancy test AND a bottle of wine when he goes to cvs for me
You could make a naked club. One member, you. One president, you.
I just want nice things and good sex
i woke up with 5 inch heels locked on my feet and my car keys missing. this is gonna be an interesting walk home
You were drunk enough to sled down a highway off ramp in your pajamas….
I can't believe it is only 1:30...I may have to stab myself with scissors for an excuse to go home...
He's on the porch naked. Help.
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