Do you not remember dry humping your dog for 20 minutes at oxfest dude?
When we were fucking i started barking and growling at her.. you shoulda seen her face
I just googled the nutrition facts for a mcgriddle and yet I still want to go to mcdonalds
The line was so long at Kum n Go some guy opened & drank 2 beers from his 12 pack while waiting.
They want to listen to Lady Gaga while they puke.
i could have sworn she did an overextended split with her legs over her head but now i think it was just the drugs
I just compared drinking to love. How do these people not know I'm an alcoholic?
Day drunk and a can of soup and wine straight from the bottle and alone and on my kitchen floor.
He came to the party late, didn't bring tacos, and then asked what shennanigans we were getting into. I swear I will never fuck another hipster.
her dad gauges his nipple piercings.
I can't decide which is better: the sex, or remembering that I have ice cream in the freezer after he left
All I've had to eat today are potatoes...and by that I mean vodka and chips
Got myself invited to boss's family dinner party, drank too much, and fucked boss's brother in his parent's house. Just another Wednesday.
Its 6:30pm and dad just drunk called me asking me what the alarm code at home is..... I'm at home, and dad isn't here.....
Nothing personal but yes I would be suspicious If I saw 3 guys and 2 girls in the same bathroom stall together
Randomize