after we finished we were both getting water at the kitchen sink...butt naked
so?
then my sister's foreign roommate walked out...in footy pajamas
can you blame him?
i blame him for everything, HE GOT ME PREGNANT
I fucked him in a hamburger. literally. he has a hamburger bed.
Miss Michigan hasn't even been Miss USA for 24hrs and already stripper pole pics are surfacing. Classy.
Caught my drug dealer jacking off. I think this is a new step in our relationship
How long does it take to cook a corndog over a candle?
I've been living off of popsicles and broth.
I have 20 seconds to get my life together and look presentable.
drunk. just smoked a spliff with a 19yr old hungarian bike taxi driver and bonded over the difficulties of getting weed in a different country. idk y shit like this isnt in the study abroad info packets
casual night just sitting in the kitchen at 2 am eating stale chips and hot sauce while my friends younger sister is cleaning all the blood off my body
Why is there a water bottle full of red wine on my desk this morning?
See you tonight.
She tried to beat him up using a half gallon of Bacardi, instead she got tangled in Kayla's hanging bra and broke a lamp. She can party with us anytime.
It was awful. He had a wife
And now you've had a year of virgin penance. Absolve yourself.
There's a girl passed out on the sidewalk at the parade. Its not even 10am. She gave candy to children saying it was ketchup. Still think I have a problem?
I don't remember anything from last night, but at track I found my thong next to the high jump pit... So it must has been decent
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