what if the hokey pokey really is what its all about?
I only make drug deals in a British accent. It's my way of making sure it doesn't get too sketch.
Remember the girl passed out in front of my fireplace?
I have already decided that it happened in an alternate universe since both of the people involved don't remember it and we only have the word of a sober person that it happened at all
The best part of my day was getting high in the parking lot of the movie theater and taking pics in the photo booth with the caption "CONGRATULATIONS!" we geeked out because it congratulated us for getting high
Saw you fall down on Jefferson and a cop drove by and shook his head. How you didnt get arrested after the party you went to on saturday is beyond me.
I think that's mostly how we became friends.
Well that, and your desire to put your penis in me.
I also just told a guy I was available for counseling in case he needed to 'bang' things out. I've become a monster.
Carson when you get home I want you to go downstairs and go into each bedroom and pick up the underwear and either throw it out or give it back to the people who own them. Look all over the room. Thank, Love Mom
You cannot meet up with him at the tailgate, his parents are there. What are you going to say "Hi I'm the one who fucks your son, can I get a cheeseburger?"
I'm missing my left shoe, and there's a note on my foot (in my handwriting) that says "HAHA BITCH" Any explanation for this?
His birthday is on Valentines Day, of course he's getting a blowjob
was that you i just saw walking down the street in only one heel smoking a cig yelling "hello sexuals" to everyone who passed??
HELLLLLO SEXUAL BEING
I smell like a mix of alcohol, sweat, and sex and its only 10 AM
Well now I’m in the bathroom puking up absinthe so guess I beat myself up over it one way or the other
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