Potential corruption. He's 19.
Get them while they're young!
it's not the walk of shame if you do it in cowboy boots.
but she was nice to me.
She was a fuckin STRIPPER.
last night i found where hot topic managers go to die after they get fired.
He came and then made the Jim Halpert face. does that say disappointment or what
There's a point around the one and a half minute mark where the keg stand goes from impressive to pathetic
How many vodka infused gummi bears count as 1 drink?
So ive narrowed my options down to getting food or masturbating. Don't judge me
And then after we fucked he wouldn't stop calling me "champ". It was like I had sex with an extremely attractive soccer coach
He realized that I was watching deadliest catch while we were jerkin off on FaceTime.
It was all fun and games until she said "you're so pretty I wanna punch you in the face" and the proceeded to punch her in the face
New guy moved in the apartment next door. He's a combat vet, 6'4", Adonis body and going to med school. My vagina is chewing thru the wall as we speak.
You were so drunk, you kept telling everyone you had a platinum vagina.
No I'm not lying to you. I'm just not telling you the whole story. There's a massive difference.
That awkward moment when you were so fucking drunk lastnight that you and your fuck buddy wake up wearing eachother's clothing covered in hot cheetos with his cat curled up between your heads meowing. Thought you'd appreciate this moment with me.
Randomize
