Let's pretend this is a good idea before I change my mind.
i just feel like it would be irresponsible for you to not have sex with me again.
My vagina agrees.
and then you seriously asked him to senior prom..which freaked him out since you told him earlier you were 22
He told me he was in a Proactive commercial. It didn't seem to work for him but he was buying me shots so I slept with him anyways.
Let's get drunk and go to Walmart and just tackle people at random.
I hate having to put a bra on before I go home cuz I have to pretend I actually went to class today
Have you ever stopped and thought "I do NOT want to be inside of this person right now. Or ever." Because you should.
Had a turkey baster with clean pee in it in my pants to pass a drug test, and the bottom fell off, so yeah I'm pretty pissed.
I think weed is turning my hair brown
I'm making poor life decisions again. Tune in tomorrow to see how much I hate life.
Would it be weird to bake him a cake that says "sorry I peed on your bed"?
STOP FUCKING TELLING PEOPLE ABOUT THAT TIME THAT GUY CAME ON MY FACE WHILE I WAS ASLEEP!!!
Ur betting me $100 that I can't do ur sister?
We dont have cups... so were doing shots out of bowls like puppies
Stop trying to mix nacho cheese and sex. Guys don’t want hot cheese near their junk. Pick a better fetish
Randomize
