He just told me his cousin just died and I look like her. Reconsidering the sex.
dude did u upper deck my toilet?
haha like two months ago
i cleaned the bathroom like ten times before i realized what the smell was.....i hate u
We put her face under a blacklight.....it looked like fireworks
I think god was stupid personally. The clit should be inside the vagina. Idiot.
i walked into the party and i guess everyone knew because they began to chant "ass to mouth"
Your remote is drenched in lotion and you expect me to believe you weren't masturbating?!
My mouth already tastes like senor cuervo took a piss in it and it's barely 1 am
If man night ends at some point, hit me up and let me prove my vagina still exists.
I sincerely thought making it to McDonalds by 10:00am was a shoe-in but it appears that I need to adjust my zoom when looking at the map before walking to places.
It's 3 in the morning and there is a bird chirping it's head off outside. GOD DAMNIT THIS IS NOT A TIME TO SING OF YOUR CHEERFUL BIRD MERRIMENT YOU STUPID BIRD CUNT!
Dude where are you? I've been here an hour and all I've done is get head from a random in the stairwell.
No, it's ok. He's Greek. To him I'm just a light drinker, not an alcoholic.
Side Note: Everyone in my office is getting engaged and having baby showers. And I'm all like, fuck your joy, I just want more string cheese in my life.
I'm like a saiyan, every time I get trashed I come back stronger
Btw I definitely had pizza sauce on my face, a painful hickey on my neck, and I just remember screaming SISTER WIVES because of the girl's 1997 jean skirt! Wow.
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