cant believe you said you would bone perez hilton
i said paris hilton
thats even worse
it's one of those mornings where you are proud of yourself just for waking up.
How many 'remember name' entries is it inappropriate to have in one's cell phone?
He said he's was gunna give me some pain meds. I'm not sure what they are but I just gave him a thumbs up
So from the residue on my balls I think it was mashed potatoes she had in her mouth
I think I'm going to wait until after Halloween to call off the wedding. No need to ruin my favorite holiday.
we agreed that it was acceptable to get the cat high as long as we gave her a lot of food.
Even though ive seen her get fisted by another girl at a party, shes still a doctor.
I don't know but the stairs are covered in apples
i wanna meet her so much more now that I know she got toed in a hottub.
So mom called me from the hospital laughing her ass off. Apparently my sister is allergic to cocaine...
Ice that vagina down, get some coffee, and try not to walk with a limp. It's time to dominate, pull it together
Do you think there are other mothers looking at porn in the carpool line?
Have you considered sword swallowing? Something about that bj tells me you could make a it a career.
"hahahaha" is not a sufficient reply when I tell you my mother laughed at a joke about me giving blowjobs.
Randomize
