If she's not going to maintain the upkeep of her vag then I'm not going to pay the rent of being her boyfriend
i wish i could tell you the night didnt begin with me drinking alone
Getting sheets for college, what is the thread count that shows the least amount of cumstains?
630.
If there was a game called "keeping your legs shut," I would lose every time.
I miss living with her. She was the only person who was a bigger train wreck than I am.
He came up to me looked at my tits said they were huge, rated them a 7 and then asked if girls really do masterbate. To make it better, he put his hand up to my face and said his penis is longer than my face...
You should have. Partying with 60 year olds and batman is so much better than partying with bitches our age.
At the bar, some guy bumped into you and you screamed "hey, don't touch what you can't afford sunshine!"
I told her I was dressed as a gag reflex judge.....she won, literally hands down.
Well the other day she asked me how often I jerk off. So I guess things are getting semi-serious
my life is turning into trapped in the closet at way too fast a speed for me to feel comfortable.
Listen all we did was not even pretend we aren’t each other’s type and live together and constantly encourage each other to get laid for 6 months.
Idk how it devolved into us fucking.
You crawled into bed with Bob and started whispering to him about produce.
Actually I learned to fire a 357 Magnum at the age of ten while on my very first period
It’s a hundred kinds of wrong to do Jell-O shots at home alone. Right?
I support drinking alone. But Jell-O shots. That’s a game changer.
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