he suggested we appoligize to eachother. then do blow and painkillers & have ourselves a make-up party.
well the first picture of me in 2011 involves a viking helmet and chugging champagne. i like this year already.
Hmd? did you really just created an abbrievation for hold my dick?
Get dressed, I have 50$ and you need a new beer pong table since we threw yours off the 8th floor last night.
He could have been a one armed faceless howler monkey. I was so slammered that I didn't care what I was having sex with or if whatever it was... was doing it right.
I passed out and slept in my car. Now I feel like a hungover zoo animal. Look and laugh people, look and laugh.
Remind me in the morning that I've now seen a guy do crack. That actually happened. I'm at the wrong party.
He fucks like those drill things that you see when you think of texas
Some dude with an OSU jersey just kissed him in the face in front of everyone. I should mention he's wearing a Panda costume. And has already been offered $20 for his suit by Plushies for oral sex.
I found the crust to my pizza under my covers that's cool
I have drunkenly angered a family of raccoons. Please send help immediately.
I love it when strippers help me get other strippers numbers.
Stranded. In bathroom stall. No toilet paper. I repeat NO TOILET PAPER! Assistance needed asap. GO! GO! GO!
All I remember is being in the middle of the road puking and my bestfriend cheering me on from the passenger seat...
I almost suffocated in that mask but she kept calling me Jeremy so I kept it on.
Randomize
