when you find your car can you pick me up? his mom is here and im hungover
So we sucessfully lit our bathtub on fire. Thought you should know.
Walk of shame was bad enough, but farting with each step as I walked past his roommates was just not cosmically fair.
you went around and groping mens pants to see "which was worthy" of you to go home with.
people are starting to question the shark bite story
just gave him road head on the way home IN A SNOW STORM..good thing we didn't crash or I'd be dead. I DIDN'T HAVE MY SEATBELT ON
clearly you have your priorities straight
we were hanging out in his room and he decided to play WoW.. so i took off all my clothes while he wasn't paying attention and laid on his bed and started playing with myself.
did he notice?
of course he didn't notice.. he was playing a fiesty level 1 fucker that wouldn't give up..
He said he was going to "rock my world". I wonder if he too has a false sense of confidence and accomplishment stemming from a complete lack of honesty from our own female counterparts.
I fingered her though her window because she couldn't leave
Craig, a bottle of Jamison, and I had a party on the roof last night. No idea how I got down. My injuries indicate fall...
in the middle of getting head my cat meowed. she looked up , meowed back, and then continued giving me head.
My uncle showed up to pick us up at the bar just as I bought a drink so I put it in my pocket #drunksmart
I cut him off because he was changing my thermostat every time he came over
You made the right decision
Found someone cuddling with my Uggs this morning. Guess the hundred pillows laying next to him weren't good enough.
Who cares if he’s younger, he’s hung like a moose. Your vagina will never forgive you if you pass on that dick
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