Apparently they shut down a cook out cause people were selling drugsout the drive thru. Nice to be home
He was so confused why there was a string hanging out of my vagina.
it was average length and chubby
so kinda like him?
now i'm wondering if all guys are shaped like their penis...
This chick just checked into her walk of shame on Foursquare... I think I'm in love.
Sorry if I'm being weird. I'm dipping doritos in cabernet.
She may be a slut, but at least she's a dedicated slut. She's always super tan and has her shit shaved in really cool designs.
A girl just told me she printed out my pictures and taped them on her wall. I have to stop sleeping with virgins.
Ahh, 151. Think of it this way: it took one shot to get you buzzed, I took eight. I may or may not have broken a tv with my skull that night and met someone's parents naked and hungover the next morning.
We watched game of thrones, broke up and I drove away blasting ridin solo while he dougied
You were a cyclone of alcohol and bad decisions - like a gay Tazmanian devil
I need a fuck buddy with more available hours
Things were going really well until his cousin showed up. She told him I look kind of like his mom, which started a ten-minute debate on my and his mother's specific features, and ultimately, who is prettier. Guess who my date picked.
she was sitting with her tits completely out.. on the kitchen floor..eating pickles by the handful... rapping mac dre... and then lit up a cig and continued...that drunk
am i the only one who finds it a little awkward seeing as we all made out last night?
I just got a handjob in the back of an Uber while a large German dude and a Midwestern fuck-boi sang along in falsetto to the Bohemian Rhapsody.
Randomize