when you close your eyes do you see, that mystical creature will be me.
who is this?
Never eat 3 McGriddles and drink a carton of milk. It's like you're successfully killing self but you're alive.
just had a dream there were parent teacher conferences in college...scariest dream ever.
boy from dating site added me on facebook. i don't know if i'm ready for him to see what a drunk i am.
i like to finish this college football season knowing that not once have I had to masturbate to erin andrews
I never thought I would say this but I have to clean queso off my vibrator
pretty sure I called you last night to sing Hebrew to you.
All I know is that at 4 am I was walking down the street in my bra and his shorts and Im pretty sure I passed my grandma on her morning walk.
I need to be drunk within 15 minutes of getting home tonight.
I'm about to be a GTA V widow, he could at least throw me a bone. Literally.
God it's like my stomach is full of drunk bees
she hacked my macbook and downloaded an illegal version of the original pokemon red, completely nude in my computer chair. there were several levels of hornyness existing all at once
And what in gods fuck were you drinking. It tasted like windex with a mixture of juce
Do exhausted, barely concealed hand jobs count as joining the mile high club?
I am naked, and drinking straight gin with a flat tonic chaser. I had such greater hopes for myself as a child.
yea...tonic water is fucking gross.
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