i'm starting to get pissed at how pandora is trying to force coldplay on me
I just sat in the Taco Bell drive-thru waiting for a trash can to take my order. Yes, that high.
I am a mess. Weirdest thing: I woke up with a hammer under my pillow. No idea why.
couldnt find a condom. used a surgical glove instead. actually worked and the sex was great. thanks nursing school
I know I said I wouldn't, but he told me I looked like Mila Kunis. Reasons not to fuck him, go.
you have failed as an in class drinking partner.
I bought him bourbon as a thank you for his apology. What is wrong with me?
Just walked into the bathroom and looked straight ahead and made eye contact with a guy taking a shit through the crack in the stall door...
I'm like five sips away from making a Craigslist post for true love and mustaches. My family is going to disown me tonight.
I know he is still a student. I am not asking if his being an underwear model makes it more ethical, just less prosocutable.
I wrapped my scarf around his head and then made him go down on me
And I also said, "probe me"
All i really remember is meeting this guy dressed as jesus and i kept taking his wine and saying "the body of christ!"
I also woke up in my friends room to 3 girls and a naked boy on the floor but thats besides the point
Lying naked in bed eating carrot cake of off my bare breasts while watching Family Guy. Tonsilitis isn't all bad!
I'm trying to watch Chicago PD and tell you I like your dick at the same time. It's a lot of work, ok?
Getting blackout drunk infront of my family was never on my bucket list, but now that I've done it I'm cool with it.
Randomize