Well my night just got interesting. I just home from the police station. Hope you had a fun night out!
Gayer than 8 guys blowing 9 guys
wow, that really makes you stop and think.
shotgunning a bud heavy is like shotgunning a turkey sandwich
Asian chick on skype stripping for me. Hold on give few min
she keeps a pillow, blanket, and a pack of saltines under the bathroom sink, for "rough nights".
Tonight will bring shame to my future grandchildren.
I shouldn't be home alone with this much peanut butter and the dog. I feel like i'm being recorded to see when my desperation will peak.
Stop thinking your God dude. You passed out. God doesn't pass out...
I always ask when they're due. It's the nicest way for me to let her know the rest of the world can tell she's putting on weight too
I'm making him come over again tonight. I don't know how long this thing will last so I want to spend as much time with his dick as possible.
Wait do we still get bagels if no one got laid
I know it doesn't seem right, but sometimes, bagels are just flat out called for.
Kinda awkward to hear your aunt complain about loose women when you're in town to be a stunt dick for a swingers convention. Just sayin.
At one point my little brother was Rocky Balboa'd by a stripper's tit
I will go to bed dreaming of sexy Olympians carting me on a throne to the beach where they feed me pizza and champaign and massage my head/wash it like the hair dresser does.
Cops swarmed my car last night in the walmart parking lot cause of the paper plate
Randomize
