Raise your hand if you bought 2 annoying girls shots of water. CLOWNS.
I just did something awful... i just had to tell someone... i just used my brothers electric face cleaner as a vibrator
then they high fived as they party boyed me. I was a policewoman sandwhich. I love you halloween.
he farted when he came. not the best ending to my day.
We fucked standing up with my right leg over his shoulder. Thank you mom and dad for having once enrolled me in gymnastics. It has finally paid off
dude wearing that thong all day was not worth the 7 bucks
This is God's way of telling me He loves me and wants me to be a cocktease.
Go forth my daughter and give blue balls to all who may gaze upon your tits.
I'd hate to be 100% hetero. Pretty sure they have less orgies
Dollar Store pregnancy tests. For when you sorta wanta know.
They have marijuana tests too!
Things my liver can't take in one weekend. Surprise nights off at work and male strippers. Woke up jaundiced.
Just got to Evans to buy weed. His mom showed up unannounced. Now the three of us are chillen. Super.
So my balls are accidently making an appearance on snapchat
He just got out of surgery, almost died from shooting him self with an arrow.
Do not tell me I cant do drunk math ever again, AND I made a creative way of telling him I want him to fuck me.
I'm fairly sure I accidentally saw my dad naked last night
Randomize
