I woke up this morning in your mom's car... any ideas?
I don't remember her name, but I do remember yelling at her from the balcony of the hotel room during her walk of shame.
Two girls are now jumping in the ocean naked at 10 PM...and I was just starting to hate Ocean City
Bartending School is so much more enjoyable now that I realized I was in rehab at this time last year.
I gurantee you I'll be the only one dressed as a giraffe.
I think as far as last words to bitter ex girlfriends go, "enjoy that staph infection youre about to get in your uterus" is right up there with the best
dude to be honest with you there is a used condom that ive just left on my floor for three days
you have got to get your shit together
I just made out with Ricky Ullman of Phil of the Future fame and I don't know what I'm doing anymore. Help.
I think he's holding my wallet hostage because I puked in his car. It's not my fault he has child locks on his windows..
All I know is I woke up with his business card in my bra and in my handwriting on the back it says 8 inch.
Holy fuck where did this cat tattoo on my ass come from
Cancelling your gym membership calls for alcohol.
I always can't wait to see you but when there's also an opportunity to get naked it elevates to an entirely different level
2017 is my year to realize stuff. Move over Kylie Jenner
Just learned a very valuable life lesson. Never motorboat a cat when they have claws.
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