Last night i stole a disco ball from a frat house by pretending i was pregnant.
I just realized i masturbated to the home shopping network. I either need to get a boyfriend asap, or a subscription to a porn website, or i just need to stop taking ambien
it was better than the time i puked and I forgot to open the lid of the toilet
Discovered the secret to willingly attending my 3-o'clock class. Ahoy, Cap'n.
After we had sex he bought me grape soda. I think I'll keep him.
WHAT DO YOU MEAN I DIDN'T APOLOGIZE? THERE WAS A PEACE OFFERING MADE VIA TACO BELL.
she fell through a window trying to flash someone
We broke the shower door. Completely off. His roommates were not happy but I sure was
I've done nothing but whore my gay ex bf out for the past 48 hours. It's getting weird.
and honestly how many chances will you get to hook up with a one armed guy?
Haha yeah that's basically it. He was like "i've always had a thing for you, and even sober i still would do and feel the same way." so glad to know i am worthy of a sober hookup as well.
I just traded ecstasy for trapeze lessons...you in?
Now I just sit back and wait to give ass birth to pure evil.
I have aggressive nipples.
ok but bondage is pretty much my easy mode
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