hey its robert, we just made out in the backyeard. i'm inside now and you should come to the bathroom and meet me.
i'm thankful for my girlfriend's hot cousins....god, i love her family parties.
She said "I only hook up with guys I'm dating"
So... What happend then?
We dated for an hour, i broke up with her after. BOOM.
Wake and baked to watch the boston marathon. God I love massachusetts
votings over. no more wacking it to anti christine o'donnell ads
just start off by saying "hey, i cockblocked my friend last night and need to make it up to him, could you help?"
Its like "fucckkkkk yooouuuuuu" is echoing up my esophagus
tequila?
yep
yeah dropping that class because i really don't want to be known as the girl who fell asleep in class and threw up as she walked out for an entire semester
Felt like shit, jerked off, felt ten times better. Being a guy rules. It's like I got all the demons out in 5 minutes.
I'm texting you the word "cockring" because I feel it hasn't been said enough throughout our friendship.
You shut your whore mouth, we don't talk about Drunk Nutella night.
Oh hell no my vagina is on that screenshot
I think I just got drunk texted by my psychiatrist
Listen this is important.. if I die tonight you have to be the drug dealer at my funeral
So if your sore it's because you tried to tackle a tree last night. When I told you at the party, you said "What do you expect, I'm an athlete!"
Randomize
