Call me Kermit cause I'm about to go piggin
I just used my thong as a hair tie. I think I reached my limit.
he said that he wanted to outsmoke the rain, I don't know what that means but I'm gonna go help him
We are going to get clementines. And shoot them out of a ballon launcher. That's after we come up to the ivy with a bullhorn and reck havoc. Where are you.
Theres a freshman smoking a pipe on campus. This new class is setting a new standard we're not ready for
Kid sitting next to me smells like he slept in a dutch oven full of farts. Going to die.
You were in your third change of clothes, and I found you in my driveway passed out with my dog's food bowl. You win.
Eating a popsicle in the shower was the best idea I've had in ages.
We should probably go now, otherwise the whores will descend.
Dude random question. Where you with me when the vulture got electrocuted from the power lines and fell on the sidewalk in front of us?
How did you get him out of the shower last time?
Order Taco Bell and leave a trail of burritos leading to his bed.
Just woke up with an entire pack of Oreos in my cheetah onesie. I've been waiting for this moment forever.
The sex may be the only reason I like him. I've confused the multiple orgasms for feelings.
I almost got an A in organic chem but started hallucinating during the final so I got a C
you going clubbing tonight?
well its tuesday isnt it
Randomize
