She got kicked off the plane and spent the last four hours in a holding cell with the feds.
but she's really nice
I don't think I'm emotionally ready for this blow job.
You were dancing around the clubbing yelling "best wingman ever" and raising your cast in the air
hand shaped bruises on both boobs again....i wish i could say this is the first time.
Remember that pineapple I soaked in vodka last month? Just found it- nothing is growing on it? Think it's safe?
I did too many shots and now a kitten is trying to eat my bagel.
I came in your room, you looked at me and said "I fucked up" and then some kid showed up and took you to the hospital
That one dude should feel honored if he were to get herpes from you. Fuck that Guy. He is a herpe.
The wizard has you scheduled for a 6am sex breakfast
I'm so there
..puke & rally mid art final. HAPPY CINCO DE MAYO!
Dude. I need you to practice dancing around in your banana hamock. Party boy style. I'll call later with details.
My hangover didn't kick in until like 4pm so I found myself puking in the middle of Times Square. During rush hour. In a three piece suit. A spongebob came by and patted me on the back.
You went to pound town last night and chow town this morning. Boy you need a passport.
In other news, I tore a tendon in my hand from giving my boyfriend handjobs so that's how my day is going
So I fell alseep while I was motorboating that girl last night infront of the entire party.
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