i just wanna skin you and wear you like last years versace.
you may have the big hair, fake nails, and talk with a fake accent, but you will NEVER be a housewife from new jersey so STOP TRYING.
Sarah Palin just got hired for Fox News. Watch out Jersey Shore... there's a new drinking game in town
I'm going to pre plan my black out tonight. I think I'll set a change of clothes out on my bed and unplug the oven.
Come over we're celebrating the one month anniversary of her first 4/20
I'm assuming the reason my elbow is so sore has something to do with all the broken shot glasses eh?
Yep
I WILL PAPERCUT YOUR URETHRA YOU DO NOT STEAL A MANS SECOND BIG MAC
I lost the bet. I now have to do all chores sans clothing of any kind. I give it a week before I'm knocked up...
Calling a preemptive no homo on tonight's activities
You are one of my favorite baseball you have fun today
You can't have your cake and publicly stick your dick in it too
For someone who wanted a break I'm getting way to much dick
You think your roommate is bad? The guy they paired me with is such a nerd, his very presence at a party blocks every cock in the room.
Currently watching high school football on ESPN. Drink every time they say 'this kid's got potential' or 'look at this kid go' or 'atta kid' We're done for..
Hahahaha. He sent me a dick snap in the lululemon stockroom. What is life. If this works out, this could benefit everyone....
he said to "slap him" after he guessed the time correctly. i did.
Randomize
