I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
why does hillary duff have a greatest hits album?
But I don't consider them one night stands. They're auditions.
She celebrated a negative pregnancy test by going out to Quizno's. I really don't understand her at all.
I just realized I used lady gaga lyrics in my research paper on marie antoinette
It's only 4 pm and I'm already way past my preferred quota of "could have died" moments
Turns out my drunken logic and wordsmithing isn't quite the same as the sober version. I'm pretty sure I made fun of the managers mom at one point
and being hungover still at 4 in the afternoon is NOT "having allergies"
I'm at a winery and there's a 50 yr old woman sitting at a table alone with a bottle of wine and the only time I've seen her get up is to harass the hot dog guy
Codeine + Boredom = Sprinting between my front and back door.
I got a letter from the home owners association saying its against policy to have sex on the trampoline.
Since when do you jog?
Since hot shirtless guy that lives across the street jogs
You are hereby uninvited from future Turnt Tuesdays until further notice.
Can't beat it when the local bar sends you off with a loaf of bread on the way out the door.
Hypothetically speaking...if I was arrested in Wisconsin, say Kenosha county, would you post my bail all the way from Oregon? If yes, will you also accept my collect call in t-minus 13 hours?
Randomize
