Ok seriously, can we bring back badminton?
Midget Michael Jackson impersonator dancing to Beat it in Penn Station almost caused me to miss my train. God, I
i need gas-x and some way to take back every single thing i did last night.
I've drank myself into a smaller pants size. Who ever said alcoholism was unhealthy was mistaken.
Dude I still wanna know who I had sex with on new years eve
You nicknamed her "lazy eye" and were screaming across the bar at her to buy you a drink...
I woke up naked this morning there was a baseball bat on the floor the bathroom door knob was removed and the floor was wet. This is why i don't do Tequila shots.
you flashed the cab driver so we didn't have to pay the fare and then you decided you were on a roll so you flashed the guy at the maccas drive through... safe to say your boob job was the best idea ever!!
Just told my mom sparks is a health drink. Officially getting hammered on the way to the beach.
do you find it slutty that the last person I had sex with is also the person who sings my ringtone ?
I think my uterus is still laying in your bed somewhere under the covers.
I forgot I did whipits. Probably because my brain cells were killed from the whipits
A sexy devil squat down and peed in front of Tom Hanks from Castaway.
I am buying anal lube, an enema, and a bag of kit kats. What part of this is compelling the Walgreens woman to tell me to "be well".
was i wearing any clothes at that point?
socks and a thong
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