i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
You tried to call the hospital and left a voicemail asking if you could be put on the liver transplant list as a "pre-caution"
I wanna get so drunk next week I throw up on a guy's genitals. I want to be that memorable for someone.
hooked up with the gay kid & his friend's mom told me "you know he has a identical twin brother whose straight, right?"
The only thing worse than being hungover is being hungover and not able to open your mouth wide enough to eat a cheeseburger
her tits were more amazing then brown bears with armor and guns that fire bullets of Justice that destroys inequality.
The girl in the stall next to me is puking her brains out, I'd say she had just a good a weekend as us
I gave her some alkaseltzer ad she looked at me lke I was god
Just told my mom I need money for Molly. She was not happy
Part of me really wants this picture, but the other part of me knows if he is really this drunk, he could be sodomizing a lamp and not know it
The great part about clubs is that you can fart everywhere and nobody knows! The bad part is I'm on e and i have nobody to fondle.
Like I'm sorry but "it'll be fine trust me" IS NOT VERY REASSURING ASSHAT. Now take off your pants.
Netflix keeps asking me if I'm still watching just because I've been sitting here all afternoon...why do I feel like my tv is judging my life choices?
He was stoned laying on my bed singing I'm a little tea cup while I took a pregnancy test. Thank god it was negative.
I'm just going to ride dicks all the way to the to the gates of hell
He's literally cuddling with the washer and dryer.
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