That bad?
Full length cargo pants, running shoes, and a partial unibrow. Alcohol really is blinding.
It was an awkward 3some. I took her from behind while he just made out with her.
I was fucking the girl and her best friend walked in on us. She said we looked thirsty, got us a glass of water, and poured it down both of our throats. It was like... sex bottle service
Let's have sex soon. Just us!! Its sad that I have to specify.
the japanese bartender dressed as a cowboy in assless chaps just told me i was too drunk for another shot
Dude where are you? I've been here an hour and all I've done is get head from a random in the stairwell.
There's a naked man in my car right now.
We need to make tonight low-budget
Is this your way of suggesting flasks?
We broke my graduation cords last night when we used them to tie each other up during sex last night
11:30 you texted me saying he was on his way. 11:37 you said, "Oh my God that was terrible."
He put his SoundCloud on his Tinder bio. I felt personally attacked.
she broke the sink..i repeat the sink is off the wall. send help
Two questions: is there going to be a bathroom at this party, and can we fuck in it. This will define whether or not I enjoy going to parties with you.
you know you're sexually deprived when you're holding a warm taquito in your hand and your vagina starts to tingle
Apparently I drunkenly told him I was going to ride him to the rodeo and break him like a bronco, then I stole his nachos and beer. Adulting is hard!!!
Randomize
