me and ur bf were arguing about whether coke was vegan. i really hope it's vegan
I don't even remember his name...i'm just gonna save it as birthday sex
Just saw a group of asian tourists in safari outifts bow in thanks to the starbucks guys. And no Im not high.
Your TV has the DVD menu for White Chicks permanently burned into the screen. I can't anymore. That's just a whole different level that I cannot comprehend.
I feel like royalty, that girl from last night had a vajazzled vag. Bucket list complete.
God damn. I'm really starting to resent babies. They're everywhere. Like fucking land mines.
Well going home with a Ralph Lauren model helped me get over him real fuckin' quick. Would recommend it for all women going through breakups
Just come get me. Somewhere there's hobo that's going to want his dumpster back, and I kinda want to be gone when he discovers the vomit.
She was blowing me when her roommate came in and goes "you want me to tap in?"
You realize once your inheritance is finalized this shit will stop happening right?
First night sober since New Years. I'm not sure what hurts more, the hangover or the credit dread when I find out what the tickets to Bali actually cost.
When one of my seniors asked "Rough night?" I realized my poor decisions involving Tuesday night drinking did not go unnoticed.
Don't be the guy that has his dick out at work.
I just sat watching friends in the bathtub by candlelight...nights like this make me wonder if I ever want to be in a relationship again
He made me tacos after the sex. Best date ever!
I know that whole thing was awkward. Not worth the piece of cake.
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