if three guys were standing in front of you and they differed only in the hairiness of the groin who would you choose: smooth as a baby's bottom, the grass lands or the amazon jungle?
i think you're getting too neurotic about why she won't touch you.
the 3rd commandment: and god said, if you buy a handle.. you must finish it.
When you wake up, I have rum and am in town
I was high enough to think that mac-n-cheese w/ ketchup, tortilla chips w/ ketchup, and milk was a fancy dinner
he's washing the lighter in the sink and telling me to picture unicorns. requesting backup.
Do you ever just look at me and get embarrassed?
Just rented the SCUBA equipment. Meet me at the pool to test the underwater beer bong idea.
Just got done fucking the squirter chick. She came when we were in a 69. I now know what it's like to be water boarded.
Dude he was freaking out because he thought he was walking on crates, and he just kept saying help me
They fucked on my pong table last St. Patty's and broke it. I feel like I should be hiding my new one. Would hate for a tradition to form.
I feel like we need a drunken piñata bash with your face being the piñata and my hopes and dreams being the stick
I did my walk of shame through a safeway at 8am to get YOUR hangover bagels. You're welcome asshole
He told me he felt like he was just pistol-whipped by Testicle Man.
Now we're discussing the sex we had and the later lack thereof. It's like marriage counseling via snapchat.
You have the perkiest tits in all of North America. You're fine.
Randomize
