Is it weird that I think of Ennis from Brokeback Mountain everytime I hear "Make em Say" by Master P? "I don't need your money. Huh." NA NA NA NAAA.
I'm really proud of her, she waited until she was on tiled floor to start puking on the ground
Your tequila is gone. I suggest you bring more home before you go out for dinner. Money is taped to mailbox.
No kidding. I just keep looking at that 'under 21 until 11/21/2011' on my id and whispering "soon enough"
Apparently I made a stripper cry last night when I paid her $10 to go away
Is it possible to rally from a drunken seizure?
You declared your undying love to a drag queen, then proceeded to puke into the poor man's purse.
You threw up in your own shoe then wore it home
I have a bad feeling I'm going to like this fuck buddy
40 year old guy made out with me last night while I had French fries in my mouth
I'm just drunk enough to be eating egg rolls on the toilet
I'm going to make a stack of pancakes and fuck it. Right now.
At 3:00am my whole house started smelling like cooking meat. I have no idea why she thought it was a good idea to crock-pot a WHOLE turkey that early in the morning.
First dip in a brand new jar of Nutella, and my man’s dick are two things I will not fucking share.
SUFFER THE WRATH OF THE PISS BAG
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