White coat. Heels.
i'm sending her a home depot gift card for the hole i put in her wall. call it good?
She called it mighty mouse.. And from there it was down hill
I just heard a guy scream "it must be five o' clock!!" and another guy screamed "somewhere!!!" out from different balconies.
you told him to eat candy out of your ear instead of your vagina because you had your period. never. drink. AGAIN.
The streak lives on, still havent been to Towson without throwing up
I don't know why people felt they couldn't use the toilet with me passed out in the tub. I shut the curtain. It was like being in another room.
I told her we could be friends and she said the last time i told her that we had sex behind a bar at 4am
Huh interesting. Well thats too bad. Did he catch on?
I doubt it. After sex he sat there naked until the episode of fresh prince (which had JUST started) was over.
You're the common denominator of my blackouts.
Is it bad that when someone says the phrase "helicopter dick" I immediately think of you?
It's hard to talk dirty with a mouth full of peanut butter
I deserve this hangover.
Good, but still not as good as the guy I banged in the ball crawl
So, I can officially cross "getting eaten out in a church confession booth" off my bucket list.
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