Anddd after the worst sex of my life, he said.."do you mind taking off the condom, tying it up, and throwing it at the door?" Weird.
He jizzed my face. I had to ask for a washcloth. He ran his underwear under the water and handed them to me. Not so romantic.
I just tried to sell my homemade "lightning bolt stencil for pubes" on Etsy.
handjobs have no place on a baseball diamond
I will not fill you in on the details until we get back, so do not ask. I got peed on by the girl I was hooking up with last night.
So it's always a good weekend when you don't get any sleep, try opening a bottle of wine on rocks, and end up needing a tetanus booster for our stupidity... Same thing next weekend?
Being the only woman in a triathlon group - it's a penis paradise.
It's almost like a boob-text, but it's not. Because it was live. And you were showing a bunch of people.
I had to sit there with his three fat aunts talking about a bunch of 50 Shades knockoff books.
I felt like a taxi, but my meter was running up minutes he would be eating me out that night.
A boy in some branch of the military kissed me I think I'm going through an American sniper phase
the girl next to me was drawing sonic the hedgehog on her exam what the fuck
godspeed
I have rug burns on my nipples. Thanks for being an awesome wing girl.
I am in no place to make rational decisions, but right now i want you inside me
shit... I double booked my fuck buddies
I put the child locks on after I put you in the car and you then screamed, "I am a Phoenix, you can't restrain me. I NEED TO FLY!"
Randomize
