my text book just quoted the cookie monster
Well, it's 24 hours till finals. I need high A's on all of them and I still am not sure where exactly on campus most of my classes took place.
Getting sheets for college, what is the thread count that shows the least amount of cumstains?
630.
Well he's not exactly single.. It's like an open relationship his wife doesn't know about
She passed out on top of the bar. Still did body shots off her.
Have you ever tried running while drinking 151?
Oh trust me, i am. It's like magic, but instead of rabbits and doves its orgasms- He just keeps pulling them out of nowhere.
Hi, this is a test of the morning after apology broadcast system. If you're receiving this pre-recorded message there is a high probability I was a dickwad to you in the past 24 hours. You have my utmost and sincere apologies. Also if you have my wallet, house key, left converse, or lighter, give them/it back
Mostly because I hate my job and a have a photogenic penis.
I'm making a quesadilla and including it in the picture because that's the only way I think I can send her dick pics.
What the matter? A girl can't play some Super Mario without being accused of being high?
Well, we all woke up in drag with no memory of why we were in drag. On the plus side, this shade of lipstick looks really good on me.
I got copblocked.
What?
Cockblocked. By a cop. Copblocked.
I'm a mess. I mean I almost got off but I'm a fucking rubics cube down there so il givenhim the point
It was pretty awesome. I drank out of a stein and attempted to dance to dubstep with some older guys in leiderhosen.
Randomize
