I just saw Sharon Stone's cootch in high def. I think I'll stay gay.
I was so hungover I threw up on her when she answered the door. i don't think it was a good first impression
you spent the like half the night trying to figure out the puzzles on the back of the captn crunch box
I've been here 20 minutes and some creepy old man told me he wanted to know what my insides felt like. I hate gay bars.
dude she snuck out while I was still sleeping then was banging on the door 10 minutes later cuz her car was brokedown. how was I suppose to recognize her??
It took my four years to get this degree, and 4 hours to lose it, My parents are not impressed.
hypothetically speaking is slutty or smart to buy plan b before we go on spring break so i dont have to get it in mexico
I drank all the drinks. And jump off roof. Yay
I never appreciated sexting until I went to rehab
Super awkward when the coworker you made out with in exchange for molly last weekend keeps coming over to your cube and trying to talk to you
Like please, take your microdick and try to stick it someplace else. It is not welcome in my world.
I'm ordering sushi and crying over finals. Come over and bring wine.
Weird thing is that's not the first time I've been felt up by a Santa. Happens every year
Maybe if you would fuck your boss you would get string cheese too
By the end of our first date my penis was pierced.
Randomize
