is it wrong that i plan on stealing a few pipecleaners from my preschool classroom to clean my bowl?
You need to get here now. A drunk girl just stumbled into our apartment. shes laying on the floor by our door.
In my 8 am class there was a pack of birth control on the board with a note saying, "Some dude somewhere is unhappy."
Apparently I was trying to convince him Springsteen has had buttsex. I ended the argument with "I bet he came from it too."
like when he blacked out and we found him in the garden eating your tomatoes off the vine
She thinks she's a fairy, dude. A real fucking fairy with wings and shit.
besides i was ending his dry spell. it's written in the bible that jesus likes that right?
She's beautiful tan and skinny she will make me hate myself and that's what I need in a friend right now
That doesn't mean I'm a slut. Unless McFlurries are involved.
I will rub McFlurries all over you.
I'm at the point where I'm more upset that he got to keep my bottle of Fireball than that he stopped talking to me with no explanation
SINCE WHEN WAS USING A FROZEN WATER BOTTLE ATTACHED TO A ROPE AS A THROWING WEAPON A GOOD IDEA??
Being in nursing school really pays off when your dealer tries to pass off naproxen as Percocet. Like I may have made a C in pharm but I aced the pain drug test
You're right. Cause really... I'm in the back of his head. Even though what I said was better than "I have herpes"... I did once say that to him. So I'm like a reoccurring nightmare.
Just let me suck your dick and be happy. Let me have this.
I am at a cat party and I just witnessed people lapping vodka out of a bowl for a contest. Lol
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