...i apologize for hitting you up so much tonight im just kinda in a little pickle. im going to sleep in my car near u so pretty plz lmk if you head home...
Girls don't like it when you cum inside them and then discuss baby names.
I think they gave out some kind of ugly girl scholarship I don't know about...
He played with my vagina like it was a turntable
Holy fuck. She looks like Vin Diesel's stuntman
Is it weird that I miss finding cum in my bed?
Is it wierd that you're going to be my best man and you've fucked my wife?
She gave me a handjob at the dinner table while her dad was carving the turkey. I made eye contact with him. Im pretty sure he knew.
My fuck buddy is great and all, but it gets weird when she gets in arguments with her BF in the driveway
im In safeway buying a bottle of Ciroc in short shorts at 3:00 pm on a Monday, yeah I don't know either.
To be fair I went my whole first week without showing up to work drunk!
I'll just give him your contact info, and you'll somehow manage to get laid. Which will make me feel like your vagina's agent or something.
FUCK the WHO, FUCK cancer, I'm gonna eat fucking bacon.
Today will be the day I throw up in my backpack in the middle of class
He’s 48, has a Prince Albert piercing and a white Range Rover
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