Call meee
Ok, but just to warn you, I'm as drunk as a Kennedy right now...
'hiiiigh' is saved in my t9 for a reason
I saw that some person on TFLN used a bag of wine as a pillow. I tried it last night. I forgot to close the spout. I woke up and thought my face had a period
he was like Britney Spears in bed.. a little chubby and too medicated to perform.
if my college career had corporate sponsors, they would be natty light and aim toothpaste.
I have new birth control, three bottles of jack, and some coupons for micky d's. You wanna have that sleepover?
Yeah I'm buying him lunch right now because I shot him with the fire extinguisher last night
i just saw some one pass a baby through the drive-thru window at dairy queen.
and I'm sitting five inches from the tv scrunched up in a ball watching doug. It's like I'm five again...except I'm more stoned than the dude who created this show
Dreamed I made out with a stranger after falling out of a car, let's make this happen tonight.
I found a video of myself completely naked on my phone giving a drunk tutorial on how to shit properly while blindfolded. Did you record it?
SKIIIIIIIIIIII, trip mo foes! Let-ith the epic- ness begin ith. Heroes go forth, nAy Sayers fuckin die. This is for the good of mankind! See you on the morrow
Apologies to the number who did not expect to get this but certainly be jealous of us.
Why'd you print out every dick pic you've ever received and tape them to the bathroom walls?
did you just try to prove your straightness by quoting a lady gaga song?
Can you please come in my room and pour water in my mouth? Too hungover to move. btw who is this guy in my bed? Can't see his face. Cute?
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