She said she didn't want to have sex because she was so torn up about "this whole NBC thing."
After the concert, I paid a cab to drive me around the city so I could shout "dc highfive!" at everyone who passed for an hour and a half.
FACT: the parking lot attendant was yelling "NO SEX HERE! NO SEX" at yall.
The moment you realize you should grow up: you're snorting your fathers percocet script with your old health insurance card, while your parents are on a 10 day cruise in the carribean...
Why do I always miss the parties you're naked at?!
I get naked cuz your not there
He drunk dialed me at 2am asking if he could put a baby in me.
Just high enough for therapy.
I accidentally sent him a snapchat of my boobs and now we're going on a date tomorrow... Could be worse.
FOUND: my underwear in the cabinet above the toilet. What the actual fuck.
Well I woke up and my arm was bleeding. And my blood is on the wall in the hallway.
Umm
No idea. I blame fireball.
Valid.
Seriously, he's as bad as Joffrey. I hope this ends like Game Of Thrones did.
What's worse having drunken sex with hot married man or breaking the diet one week in?
so evidently blowing a guy does not mean he will say hi to you when he sees you in class.. in case you're ever wondering
my grocery list today consisted of condoms. and butter.
umm... whats the butter for?
God. Spice Girls is now grocery store demographic. Kill me.
Randomize
