"women exchanges sex for chips" on msnbc
damn even the hoes are getting hit by this economy
we got blazed and looked up peoples criminal records
I just gave my patient permission to swallow while pregnant. She was so embarrassed to ask...but her bf was really happy with the answer.
I came out of bedroom with my jeans on backwards, zipped AND buttoned. I have inconceivable talents whilst intoxicated.
Just hooked up with a girl I met in line at Taco Bell. I told you leave me to do my own thing and I'll get it in
Before I left he asked me if I could submit my panties for the frat house undergarment chandelier. I said yes
They just kept handing me shots and saying welcome to college
I'm drinking too much free beer
Thats like saying one owns too many kittens. It's not possible.
I THINK I JUST JOINED A GANG. PLEASE PICK ME UP.
I'm hoping they send me home from work drunk.
Living room floor. I asked him to give me a back rub. He did. And smoothly transitioned that to foreplay, then basically threw me on the floor. My vagina hurts. He deserves another Christmas present.
Oh shit. My drunken car sex is on Google Earth.
I woke up with a dick pic from the ex-Mormon via email. Not really what I wanted to see before my first cup of coffee this morning, but I gotta say, I'm impressed.
I have never been that aroused while laughing my ass off in my life
can we fuck so we can live up to our nicknames for eachother?
Randomize
