The best part about the NBA starting up is I get to see Charles Barkley make a fool out of himself for 8 months
Would you like me to write a persuasive essay on how you should let me suck your dick?
The party theme was heirs and heiress's. Most guys came in polo shirts but he came as the "arch duke of vagina".
Honestly, it was easier to just put it in my mouth than to deal with an awkward conversation.
they lined up to high five me when i got taken out by the stretcher. The paramedic high fived them too
'Twas I. Do you have any idea what it's like waking up to see you sent a text inviting someone to partake in "sexy rumpus?"
Yes he was puking but in the only light of the whole parking lot and he was resting in the patch of clovers and he just was a garden fairy
You'd think somebody who rolls blunts like jesus himself could roll a god damn burrito
You forgot your "boyfriend" from last night on my couch. You're suppose to bring that shit with you.
I had 17 beers 2 days ago. I'm not dad material yet
Oh yeah I remember when I first saw Kyler's balls. If there's anything high school swim prepared me for, it's the amount of testicles I would see here
Honestly I am too high to watch videos of you jerking off right now
Well, while we went through airport security, I found out Mom got her clit pierced, so there's that.
We've been taking shots, cranking Marilyn Manson, and eating your bacon. Your kid is probably ruined.
DID YOU OR DID YOU NOT, PEE IN MY FUCKING TRASHCAN?!
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