Dude, my boy c***** and I hooked up with Asian sisters last night in the same room
Then I put on blue by Eiffel 65 and security showed up and yelled at us for being too loud. Also, they stopped fucking because no one can fuck to eiffel 65
i found your underwear in my bra... i dont even remember how this happened.
shit. all i remember is the look on your moms face.
i was just skypeing her and i saw the vagisil medicated wipes in the corner of her room. i'll be breaking this off tomorrow
That reminds me of that one time you handcuffed me to a table leg while I was reaching for the vodka.
I may or may not have traded sexual favors for Disney on Ice tickets.
On the back of that comment, I've formed a theory that as a result of my brainwashing your drunk self actually believes that beards are your calling.
If you really wanted to hide the fact you were gay, you could have at least had the sense to not get drunk in the same bar as your bf.
If my sophomore year were to be made into a novel, it would be titled "dances with salvia"
This is that think about life weed. Thank god I'm in American lit this semester. I can actually write papers in this vat of introspective stoned.
Its okay that he doesn't remember you, he only remembers girls by their boobs and I think you were wearing a jacket
I'm by the tree and the Dora the explorer balloon .. Look for the Dora the explorer balloon
I need two food groups: booze and turkey sandwiches
Yeah it got awkward when the two guys we were playing beer pong against realized that I'd hooked up with both of them. Their teamwork declined after that.
I just got a hug from a random kid in my class. he said I was a champ at the bar last night..someone help me.
Once my new license was put into my hand, a light from the heavens shined down and pauly D's voice was in my mind saying ohh yeaaah 21 yeaaah
Randomize
