You just made me feel so damn special
if i had a dollar for every time ive had to piece a night together like they did in "the hangover", i bet i could outsell their weekend box office earnings...
apparently when i got back to tyler's i layed face down on the bed and yelled "don't hurt my asshole!"
but instead of smelling like hand cream and homemade cookies, she smells like a yeast infection.
I found out that all you need to write a 12 page paper is adderall and twizzlers
I cant talk about it right now or let you guess, but its something you and i would do. Kinda like that time we had the case of beer and went bowling
You hooked up with minors in a golf cart?
There were penises being pulled out everywhere.
Every time you started making out for him we all cheered for you... that's what sorority sisters do - they cheer you on when you make bad life decisions at the bar.
Peed in a sink tonight. That drunk. I'm not proud of myself for what I did. But to carry it out with such class. I should be awarded
My dick looks like crazy bread
pics are now mandatory
Well you busted in the house and yelled with pride about Uber giving you a ride over with your new bong.
Watching Rudolph while stoned is practically a religious experience.
I have no concept of chastity or moderation, she is a Catholic guilt poster child, how could I not try to hit that
So I'm at early voting and the group of ladies behind me is talking about voting no on 2 and my gummy is kicking in, thank lawd
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
Randomize
