If I remember correctly, I may have been smoking a cigarette on the dance floor. This is the true sign of a douchebag in his native habitat...fmylife
Free body shot off of Sarah. Expires never.
I was just walking through Burbank and saw a hobo using solar panels on his shopping cart. We must be in trouble if the hobos are researching alternative sources of fuel...
How do I invite him to our 4th of July cookout without sounding too much like "hey you were my first orgasm and I want your dick inside my while watching fireworks"
well if I unknowingly shoved my hand up someones ass, I'm glad it was yours
andd if someone unknowingly shoved their hand up my ass without me knowing, im glad it was you
oh yea it is. i was not expecting to look at a snowbank and just see flying mushrooms
Three things I need a picture of: your friend, your bong, and your dick.
New one-upper goal: I have to shit off the side of a moving train then jump off
Smoked a joint with my old camp counselor and now we're going to a strip club. There is a god.
Saying you need a hooker then asking me to have sex is NOT the way to get laid. Booty call 101.
Also I've been at work for an hour and I've already been "honey"d "babe"d and "beautiful"d by three separate men. Apparently hungover with yesterdays make up looks good on me.
Accepting his friend request would be the Facebook equivalent of pity sex.
just curious, were the inflatable penis' received? Amazon says they were delivered.
He told us a story about a time his 80 year old uncle karate chopped a dick in a glory hole.
What happened last night? I just woke up and there's like 15 mcflurry cups on the floor
You don't remember stealing them?
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