gin and tonic in a mug. no limes so im using canned madarin oragnes. classy or trashy?
homeless.
watching espn. realized that the exact place those sportcenter guys are is where I got laid on the beach last superbowl. my sex spot is broadcasted nationwide
It is 8 o'clock in the morning and there is already blood all over one of the stalls in the bathroom. What has your St. Patrick's day done for you?
He was spoon feeding me wine all night.
My mom woke me up in a bubble bath this morning.
Who the fuck was that guy he kept pulling his dick out walking up to people trying to hand it to people and saying go ahead open the door like it was a door knob
Just found out that guy A from the threesome I had is now dating guy B's younger sister
You went to the animal party as a hoodrat. You won the most creative costume contest.
He kept singing Happy Birthday to himself, yelling at the bouncers for not letting him in, and telling them his "father will hear of this." He was like a drunken Scottish Draco Malfoy.
I don't think that calm, have their shit together people actually exist.
I slept with the Australian in the bathroom of a gay bar. What has my life become.
You ever sit back and realize our friendship is based off us ranting at each other with random animal photos thrown in
I'm at 45 minutes post orgasm, and I still feel my insides spasming. Pretty sure I just fucked Superman.
Am I getting cock blocked by karaoke? That's a first.
I have beer and butt plugs...pretty sure I will find a way to entertain myself while I wait
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