When you're about to leave, tell him "bye." At that point, he should say something. If he doesn't say anything, well, our drinks were free and he gets a free make out with yours truly.
so he must've not known that your lastname is Came because everytime someone would say your name he would scream "NO SHE DIDNT" to the whole party. He must've not been too good then either.
You saying I have a drinkingg problem is like saying Superman has a flying problem.
My itunes is telling me i listened to toxic by b spears 108 times last night
Who the hell brings a 6pack to a party. I'm trying to make mistakes.
That's why she's the girl with her life together and you're the girl with the penis drawn on your car.
Remind me again why a vodka watermelon can't be a thanksgiving dish
I feel like if Miami and New Jersey fucked each other and produced a baby that would summarize the bar I'm in.
I know it basically makes me the worst feminist ever, but I don't want to kill my own spiders. And I will pay my personal spider hit man with sammiches and unlimited , uninhibited access to my vagina.
Oh? I just remember dropping coins and trying to give the manager change to let me back into the bar.
My mom just walked in on me naked taking a shit and packing a bowl...the only comment she makes is, she wants her Tupperware back after my pot's out of it. Best mom ever.
It's best not to have your booty call on social media. So if they post stupid shit, you still want to fuck them.
Atleast we had sex on the couch before your ex took it from you
the guy had "bad bitches only" tattooed above his penis...
I just woke up, dressed as Chris Brown, with a bunless hot dog (presumably from 7/11) in my pocket, wearing a pair of shoes I don't recognize as my own. Help.
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