I know i should have focused more on what you were saying in the text rather than the fact you spelt "suicidal" wrong
I swear I could audibly hear her vagina slam shut when you walked up to hit on her.
I just passed a drug test. I want to shout that from the top of a mountain. Can we have beers on the top of a mountain?
I just want to hug my vagina but I can't!\nLike, I want to wrap my arms around it and say "I'm sorry"
also, made a drinking game out of my birthday photos....drink everytime alcohol is in a photo. going through all 350 of them.
You have to sext the same way you right a resume, you can only use active verbs
You don't know how badly I want to just hold you as a soup spoon holds a bisque
Just told some little girl not to judge me as I brushed my teeth in the target bathroom
Yeah except my drinking partners aka my parents went to sleep Cuz ya know, they're old.
Their first impression of me was that I was completely naked. So yeah college hasn't even started yet and I'm already that person.
You haven't lived until you have fucked while Fantasia is on
My dick has been in way too much crazy the past 2+weeks, but hey it feels good to fuck consistently again
So the next time I search for "Dragon Dildo" on my phone, I should probably clear the browser before handing my phone to someone and that's the first thing they see haha
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
I think my time would be better spent seducing the TA then trying to save this paper.
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