Vomit. Vomit. Whatever. You wear a tiara in public.
Dude I got a text from you at 1:30 last night and you didn't use any vowels
Haha, I didn't want to buy any... we're in a recession you know
In Canada she would be a 10 but here in America she's only a 7
I have a sudden craving for National Treasure 2. THIS IS WHY DRUGS ARE AWESOME
She used the introduce me to her roommates so she could find out my name trick the next morning..I may be in love.
They have an open bar at this baby shower. I was born to be Cuban.
I just got woken up by some Christians who wanted to talk about the bible. ways to make a hangover even worse for a thousand trebek
I'd like to stay optimistic, but I have this nagging suspicion my penis is in for a disappointing holiday weekend.
There is nothing worse then the feeling after you've held in farts all night..
What's his name?
He wants me to tell you "my boner misses you"
A surplus of mistakes were made and I don't know what 89% of them were.
...its technically supposed to be for the bridal shower but I think I can find an ensemble that says "im hopped up on x. Stick your tongue down my throat." As well as " im supporting your marriage to my brother"
I'm only gonna ask u this once. Y is there a picture of u only in superman underwear rubbin ur nipple on facebook????
Uh I can actually explain that one..
Her blowjob technique? Picture someone attempting to drink a triple thick milkshake through a Capri Sun straw.
duddde i wasn't even home last night and someone elses clothes are on my floor and there glow sticks everywhere?!
Randomize
