Well ya in hindsight obviously offering the cop a jello shot was a bad idea
I just realize today that I've dated three guys this year with their own blog. Ugh that's embarrassing.
Honestly, your dog is in better hands with that homeless guy.
I will probably be peed on at some point today.
I'm drinking screwdrivers in the pool naked. Call 911 if I don't check in regularly
Omg just remembered. I tried to kidnap a dog.
A girl pulled up next to me at a stoplight just now, looked around for a second, and then changed her top, bra and all, before the light turned green. New. Hero.
This guy needs to come out; I can feel him sucking my dick from across the room.
It took years to rebuild my brains forcefield against your charm and I feel like u seal team 6'd ur way in again and caught my common sense sleeping on post
I remember having the weirdest thoughts and thinking our room was a compass and we were in the compass or something.
Im about to smoke a huge bowl. My penis is so happy. Who needs girls.
That's awesome and prob the first time you had an idea of what to do. I'm super proud of you Chelz
Its cos im stoned ! My high self is maturing
I'm gonna have to get you a special blowjob bib -- like a lobster bib -- but instead of a picture of a little red lobster, it will have a picture of a penis, with 3 big squirts coming out.
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO BE A DRUNK WHEN ALL MY ENABLERS ARE BUSY?!
He is obviously into the really short sex we have.
Randomize
