i hate sounding clingy, but i just wanted to verify i wasn't an asshole in your mind
he just sent me a friend request on facebook. i wish it were physically possible to vomit on him through the internet.
no. you can't hotbox the world.
there's something so ridiculous to me about watching someone with glasses exercising. it's like watching a whore studying in the library. stop trying to be someone you're not.
Please tell me you are a size medium in men's clown onesies and that you forgot them here last night.....
They seriously just ended our alcohol presentation by giving us beer cozies. I love college.
you cried when she wouldn't let you have her bathroom rug.
I just canoed to the bar. I am a skilled drunk paddler.
I've been timing it. He's been showering alone for 33 minutes. 4 minutes ago, he said "truth or dare." haven't heard anything since.
You would ignore him even if it wasn't NoManUary. It could be the Winter of a Thousand Dicks and you wouldn't talk to that guy.
The Winter of A Thousand Dicks sounds terrifying!!!
I could study for finals and ace all my tests but wheres the fun in that? id rather black out and hope for the best
Just woke up. Naked. Under an animal pelt. With a girl. I've never met her. She's pretty naked too.
WE'RE MOVING TO IRELAND!!!! DON'T ASK QUESTIONS JUST BOOK THE DAMN FLIGHT!!!!
How about this: I support you through your miserable marriage, and you support me through all my anonymous sex?
I just ate apple sauce in my underwear. This isn't 30. This is 3.
Randomize
