grad school is all the worst parts of undergrad, without the binge drinking and bad decisions to make up for it
After I told my husband the docter shot me in the ass, he said - oh they can but I can't?!
and honestly how many chances will you get to hook up with a one armed guy?
LSD in a sugar cube. Dropped it in my whiskey sour and felt like I was rowing a boat.
A 40 year old man just put his hands on my thighs and said in these exact words "you're so beautiful and gorgeous and innocent. But life sucks and you'll probably turn into a whore."
Just realized ive been sitting through all of lab with a condom in my bra.
yay hump day
I think we should have realized the night was going to be nuts when it started with a bum dying in front of my house.
Thank you for not boning my boss.
Is there a reason there's a dick print on my seventh-story window?
i was in burrito mode and too drunk to move. no fucks were given. none.
I gather from Facebook you got drunk last night and took semi naked pictures of yourself?
Pride is not for the college student young Padawan. Tequila is for the college student.
Saw a dude last night at a strip club's bar eating canned pineapple and giving tootsie pops to the girls...
Why were you naked on your bathroom floor?
It was a "get entirely naked to take a shit" kind of blackout I think.
ARE YOU DEAD? TEXT Y FOR YES OR N FOR NO.
Randomize
